Today I finished my Berlin project and handed in my report at 9. I got to see Mette again and I was so pleased. I also proceeded to play king, again, and have a great time laughing and trying not to think about how my dog is being put down tomorrow.
I have discussed my plans for tomorrow with people around me and I have a beach trip, plus sushi to look forward to if everything works out. I’m sure it will, but I’m thinking about how strange it will be without Chew-puppy. I’m grateful for all the times we had, both good, like when he would sleep with me, and bad, like when he ran through a window and got really hurt. I’m sad that his floppy ears aren’t going to be there anymore. I’m sad that I won’t be rushed at when I get home. I’m sad that there will be no more pets, no more cuddles, no more nose under arm so you pet me move. Chewy, like Mudge, will always be in my heart. I may not remember what he looks like down the road nor how his dreams sound, but he will be there for me when I look back at the feelings. I don’t know how to tell him goodbye because I can’t be there to do it. I don’t even know how I’m going to work with this.
I hate crying.